Reminders

Portland recently did a “Cask Ale Passport” where you could go to various places in the city and get a cask beer poured for you.

I did this with my friend Kim and I thought about writing out the adventure…and then decided not to.

I spend a lot of time trying to find things to write about, mining my experiences for stuff to share and I really do enjoy that (see the Pizza series I’m doing!) It’s still work, especially since I’m writing five days a week and have a regular job. It’s work I find engaging for sure-nobody pays me so I could’ve given it up a long time ago.

But also, life is not content. Sometimes I just get to hang out and do something cool with someone I like and I can tell y’all about it later.

Namely: of the beers I tried, the Red Seal at Moon & Sixpence was probably my favorite and you should give it a go!

The Residency #23

We are all subject to the mighty algorithm, so I have purchased Level’s You’re My Only Hop IPA, made with Galactic hops. The nose is grassy but not very intense, however the bitterness on the finish is definitely a presence.

I like it but this is also a good reminder why we mix and match hops and grains, because the whole becomes greater than the sum.

I was gone for a week and suddenly men are in the news!

So I guess we’re gonna talk about men.

I don’t want to talk about men; look my dudes, if you knew men like women knew men, you’d chose the bear too.

Hell, I’d chose the bear anyway, because the bear is understandable. I guarantee you that in the history of the planet Earth, there has never been an attack by a bear on a human where the human didn’t deserve it.

It might not be fortunate, running into a mama bear and her cubs but if that happens, you done fucked up, not her.

Basically, I am pro-bear. I am anti-men who do not understand why the bear is preferable.

Speaking of men who would question why women want to run into a bear: people are paying attention to Jerry Seinfeld again and….well I am just going to put on my “Massively Biased” hat for a moment.

For me, Seinfeld wasn’t a funny show, and Jerry isn’t a very funny person. He hit the zeitgeist thirty years ago, and by golly I can’t deny his success. But he hasn’t contributed to comedy since then. I don’t recall Pryor, Williams, or Carlin complaining about how ‘you can’t be funny now’. I don’t read articles about Mel Brooks or Carol Burnett about how they can’t be funny anymore. Conan O’Brien, Patton Oswald, Bo Burnham, Hannah Gadsby don’t bitch. Those folks knuckle down and did work until they found a way to entertain again. You don’t blame the audience when your joke doesn’t work. YOU are the problem, not them.

I have zero fucks to give for Seinfeld’s opinion about anything, and this is all before we talk about him dating someone half his age at 34. There is no world where that isn’t creepy as fuck and we all should’ve binned this douchecanone then.

But it does make me think that part of the reason Seinfeld sucks ass so hard is because it-and by extension him- is proudly about nothing, and glorifying four assholes who are about nothing.

When you stand for nothing, then you mean nothing. Why should I care about what someone has to say when they’ve been insisting that nothing IS what they have to say for so long?

And the thing is, having a point of view matters. It’s what gives art, and by extension, life meaning. Not: ‘eh, none of it matters so isn’t it funny to talk about airline food?’

Not having a point of view is a luxury reserved for rich white guys who have no skin in the game and bears. Because bears.

The Soap Rant (Again)

Here we have Steeplejack’s Alewife mild ale, on cask. It’s a very light beer (3.2% ABV) that presents some delicate flavors and easy drinking.

And I can’t really tell you anything about it, because Steeplejack decided to have the strongest, most floral grandma scented soap they could find in the bathroom.

I drink with my hands, folks. And if those hands smell like floral grandma, guess what’s going to happen to the beer that you put all that effort into making?

Bat Attack Test

My friend Kim wanted to make her Bat Attack amber for the homebrew competition at SheBrew. So, with a few adjustments to the original recipe, we did a test batch, before taking a swing at the competition batch. Here’s what I thought:

The nose is solid-malty but I still get a hint of butter on it.

The flavor thought doesn’t offer any buttery qualities, which is great. The malt is there and I get a little more roast than the last time we made this. But more relevantly, the finish is just a touch more bitter: The sweeter elements of the Bat Attack have been curbed by the additional hops. Also, the use of amber malt extract seems to have deepened the color as well as added a bit more roast quality too.

This isn’t a bad beer by any stretch. It’s a great study in contrasts, seeing what happens when you play with hops just a little bit. But there’s a preference for the OG recipe.

And this is my last update on the Bat Attack! This beer has come under the official stewardship of Kim, whose interest in brewing has bloomed into becoming a full on brewer herself. From here on out, if the Bat Attack comes up, it’s because she’s got something to say about it. I’m just the person who lifts heavy objects: She’s the brewer.

Brew date: 1/7/24

Steeping grains
7 lb Metolius Munch
1.5 Crystal 15
.5 Special roast

Fermentables: 3 lb Amber extract

Hops
@60 1oz Kent Golding, .5 oz Halertau Mittlefrau, .6 oz Amarillo
@5 1.5 oz Haltertau Mittlerfrau, .5 oz Kent Golding, smidge Amarillo

1 tsp Irish Moss @15 min
Yeast: Imperial’s Flagship

OG: 1.055

FG: 1.014

Notes: Warmed wort up to 67 for 3 extra days to finish the beer

Bottled 1/18

Tasting notes 1/28

ABV: 5.6%

Lastly: I’ll be on the road this weekend so no posts until Wednesday. Cheers!+

The Residency #22

It’s another Von Ebert week, as I’ve taken advantage of their 6th year anniversary Pilsner today.

The nose has a little corn and a lot of two row malt going on. The flavors are clean, a little sweet but the finish is dry and has a solid hop bite going on.

I’m not sure it’s a solo beer-that is, this really makes me want to have tacos or something with the pilsner. But I don’t knock it for that.

Today, you’re getting a cat update. It’s been nearly a year since I adopted Jenny and I haven’t talked much about it but here we are, a year later.

And she’s becoming more like a cat every week, instead of a ghost who poops in the designated area. She will allow herself to be brushed sometimes and will occasionally lick the brush. Which I do not understand but I also don’t understand a lot of things about cats.

She has figured out where the sunbeams will be in the house and lie in them. She’s figured out how to be underfoot at inopportune moments, loves catnip and will purr delightfully when pet-but only wants to be pet when she feels safe.

It’s come with some downsides: she feels bold enough to meow at me for food at 5am. That just isn’t fuckin’ cool.

But it’s also come with notable advances-Jenny feels comfortable enough to come and sleep on my computer chair when I’m not in it.

The reason I want to bring all this up is because it has taken almost a year for her to actually come around to behaving this way. It has taken time and space and effort for her to feel like she has a home, but she still is afraid that she is going to be fucked with every time she wants to eat.

It takes time to change, it takes safety and the opportunity to fail. It isn’t easy. Jenny still has a ways to go, I think. She may never feel totally comfortable. So you have to take your rewards in the small wins.

The small wins are worth it though, and we should celebrate them. Too many things are wins but go uncelebrated and maybe we should reconsider that.

Vienna Ale

Usually Vienna malt is used for lagers but I have always liked the flavor of Vienna malt, so I thought I’d give an ale a try and see what it turns out like

Pretty good! The malt is very forward, and it has a distinct caramel flavor. The brightness and clarity is strong for my efforts, and there’s a nice, white, persistent head on this beer giving it a great visual impact.

This beer is a little too sweet though. I think that if I’d amped up the bitterness on the finish that it would probably be better. This isn’t bad, but with a citrus bitterness to contrast the caramel flavor, I’d have something really special.

So, I have a path forward, and that feels good.

Brew date: 12/9/23

Steeping grains
6 lb Vienna malt
1 lb biscuit
1 bl American Honey
1 lb North Star Pils

Fermentables: 4 lb ExLME

Hops
@60, .5 oz CTZ, 1oz Wilamette
@5 .5oz CTZ, 1oz Willamette

Yeast: Imperial Flagship (2nd use)

OG: 1.07

FG: 1.012

Additives to water: 1 tsp gypsum

Bottled 12/17

ABV: 7.9%

The Haul

This is what I pulled in as a steward of this year’s OBAs.

Wild stuff, right?

But what this also means is; no brewing for a little bit. I have all the beer.

It also means; more beer reviews! Which is nice. And, it’s a good time to do my annual ‘cleaning of all the gear’, so my stuff doesn’t get infected. I just wanted to give readers a heads up as to what’s coming.

The Residency #21

OOoo the malt from this Von Ebert HVG pills is outstanding. A nice bready quality, quickly blanketed by the hops.

This is one of those crushable beers. I’m actually wanting to ignore it just so I can have a second HVG to tell you about THAT one. Let’s split a plate of nachos and have a pitcher of this. Two pitchers. And make sure the nachos have extra cheese.

The middle of the HVG might be the secret weapon; the beer feels weighty enough that you get the sense that you’re drinking something, flavors that are sweet but very light, with a finish that is appropriately bitter.

Dunno how long Lents is going to have this one, but it’s worth the glass if you can snag a pint.

I’ve been haunted a bit by this article I ready earlier this week. If you don’t have the time to read it, the TL:DR is that rural white grievance is basically racism and should be called out as such.

Which, yeah: we should point out racism when we see it.

What bothers me though- in addition to the failure for most scholars and media to call an ox an ox- is the simple refusal to see beyond “the other” for their problems. As I pointed out a few weeks ago, Mitch McConnell represents the 6th poorest state in the country and has for decades.

Yet he seems to be blameless for the condition of that state (at least by white folks and the media surrounding him).

What the actual fuck is that about? Why is it SO easy to blame a poor Black person instead of a rich white one? Why is it so easy to insist that trans people are ruining the state of our schools and infrastructure, instead of Elon Musk being Smaug and strangling our ability to pay to fix them?

We’ve had a masterclass over the past 20 years and a neon billboard for the last eight for sure in the power that the wealthy exude over our lives. You’re going to tell me rural whites just can’t see it? They always want to know who’s responsible: why is that so hard to detect for them?

Yes, there is a propaganda machine in effect, no question. If I’d been told for 50 years that Black people were the source of my lot in life, that would be hard to shake off.

But greed is killing us faster than hate is. Why is greed so much harder to detect? Why do white people seem to have such a difficult time with the concept of sharing-or hoarding, for that matter?

Hm. Maybe a stronger beer to ponder this with. Definitely a second.

Common Ales: Terminal Gravity’s Vienna Lager

The nose has an element of toasted rice to it. It’s super clean, hinting at the malt within.

The beer itself is just on this side of sweet for me. I don’t dislike this beer; it’s even got some complexity to it, with some extra malt flavor and a dry finish.

The sweetness doesn’t have a counter though so it’s just a little unbalanced. I’m giving this a good but not great.

A New Sour

I really enjoyed this profile of Dokkaebier and their head brewer.