So, here I am pouring the Double Mountain India Red Ale.
I heard many praises about this beer over the course of Saturday night as I ached my wrists, flexed my fingers and poured pitcher after pitcher for thirsty people. I did not get to drink it that night. Frankly, I was too busy. I’m told there were something like 40,000 people there and I’m pretty sure 20,000 wanted a beer from me. The plus side is that my shift went very, very fast. And it could have been worse: the people next to me were having trouble with their tap lines. Pouring beer for them looked like this:
Since it was pure foam coming out, I tried to help when I could filling empty pitches. Pitchers would sit for five minutes or more until things settled enough that there was pourable beer. The people serving it kept a good humor though and I’m sure that helped.
Personal rules for next year:
1) Eat. They don’t feed you, and after five hours I needed a double cheeseburger so bad I would’ve considered assassination for one.
2) Comfy shoes.
3) Silver bullets.
Now I can see you out there, looking at me like wha? so let me explain. Every so often, say every twenty minutes or so, a howl would start from somewhere on the grounds. No reason; the moon wasn’t even full that night but a howl would come up nonetheless.
I am taking the stance that it was werewolves, and next year am bringing precautions. Or, it could’ve been drunk assholes who thought that raising up their fists, one empty, one with their mug of beer and howling out a big ol’ WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is ‘cool’ somehow. Assholes that look like ‘person’ in red in the pic on the left.
If you see someone who looks like this, do not approach him! He may be a werewolf instead of an asshole. It’s bad enough that we have to deal with drunks. Lycanthropy is just too much to ask of any volunteer and let’s all just admit that biting is uncalled for in at least 95% of all public situations. However, because it was daylight I think the disease can be ruled out, and he was just drunk.
Rules for going to the OBF as an attendant:
1) If you’re a lass and have cleavage, thanks.
2) If you’re a guy and have cleavage, the opposite applies. Please button up your shirts. No, we don’t care how hot it is.
3) If you are smoking a cigar at a beer event, you need to leave. You’re fucking it up for everyone else with the brown cylinder of cat ass coming from your mouth.
4) Never ask for a ‘good pour’. You’re being an asshole because you’re assuming that we’re out to short you, and trust me which we aren’t. We are being watched by security though so maybe you could cut us some slack?
5) Complimenting your server when you get a nice pour is greatly appreciated.
6) When we say there’s no more beer for you, deal with it. Don’t throw a fit or shoot us dirty looks, even if you can clearly see beer on the back tables. We’ve been our our feet for 4+ goddamn hours without food OR a beer, and the leftovers kept there are for us. We deserve a beer after our shifts are over, and you giving us some kind of attitude is pretty much shitting on people who have put out a lot of effort to make your experience enjoyable.
Overall though the experience was fun, and went by really quickly. Thanks to the people who served around me and the supervisors for keeping their sense of humor, and thanks to everyone who was friendly or even just civil. I appreciate it.
Did I get to drink beer? Yes; I went back on Sunday.
Scrimshaw lager from North Coast brewing was a solid lager with that faint lager skink at back end. Very refreshing though, after I’d walked a mile to get to the festival.
3 Creeks Stonefly Rye had an OK nose but a very, very bitter back end. This, coupled with the rye malts made it quite unappealing for me. But I got a photo of it.
I also got to try the Double Mountain IRA. I found it to be crisp and easy drinking but it couldn’t wash the rye tastes out of my mouth so I’m didn’t find this beer to be that tasty. I want to try this when my palate hasn’t been torqued so badly.
Old Market Kraken IPA was my favorite beer and I wish I’d had enough tokens to buy a full one. It was an imperial IPA that was pretty well balanced, and from a brewery that apparently is in Portland but somehow I’d never heard of before. Time to look them up.
My last beer was Redhook’s tripel, which was the biggest surprise of the event for me because Redhook isn’t known for beers this adventurous, but it was a good tripel with just enough sour to keep the beer from going overboard. I hope Redhook continues with these kinds of interesting beers–I’ve always liked the brewery but they’ve gotten lost in the shuffle for me as of late.
As I was leaving the OBF I overheard: “They serve the best beer over there; it tastes like lemonaide!”