Front Porch Chats #45/Second Pint NMD

T-1000 Eisbock from Oregon City brewing, in glass, on table outside

This here’s the T-1000 Eisbock from Oregon City brewing. It’s got just a whiff of caramel, a fluffy white head, the faint taste of coffee, and 9.9% ABV kids. Which I need, because I am trying to get over the fact that they had merch.

And by ‘they’ I mean the insurrectionists. They had fucking merch. It said, Civil War Jan 6 2021.

I feel as though this somehow softens what they were trying to do-as if this could be a joke, somehow, as if nobody in their right mind would actually make a shirt if they were seriously planning on overthrowing the government. It is funny, in a bleak way.

But this is America, and I’m here to tell you that when they merchandise their ‘revolution’ that is deadly serious.

And I don’t know how to get over it.

I’m a little disappointed in the eisbock, to be honest. It tastes a little thin, like watered down coffee. And since eisbocks are meant to be concentrated, well…I was expecting a little more.

These fucking geese decided to take on a 747, with all the foresight of such an animal. Sure, they might’ve brought down the plane, but that story wasn’t going to end the way any of those fowl thought it was.

I think that’s the first thing we have to acknowledge, if we haven’t already: all of these people are serious about their vile plans. From Ted Cruz and Marjorie Taylor Green, to the boots-on-the-ground assholes who are there to make a quick buck off of tshirt sales. We should absolutely laugh at their ideas-Jewish Space Lasers? Paris accords about Paris?-but we should also approach them with one very clear thought:

They aren’t fucking around.

Which means we shouldn’t either. I’m not suggesting violence against these people; but I am saying that if we just try to laugh this off, we will find ourselves on the end of, and unprepared for, their violence.

On the upside? They’ll all be wearing clothing that says ‘Here to destroy America’, easily identifiable by any patriot, as well as any insurrectionist.

But it galls me. I don’t know how to get over this. I don’t think I can, and I don’t think I should; unless these people are held accountable for their actions-and they’ve already taken actions, they love putting their evil on camera-I think this should stick in our craw.

Because fuck these geese. They’re here to do one thing: shit over everything we love.

And I don’t want the plane to go down because of them.

Today’s second pint is going to No More Deaths.

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