Respite 31/Second Pint PP

33004231423_37832b5453_cThis week, Lagunitas‘ One Hitter: Dave Murphy’s Best Scotch Ale. This is an imperial scotch ale although you wouldn’t know it by the looks. Also: hell of a name on that, right?

The nose on the One Hitter tries to weasel the peat quality beneath me, sweet malt flavors really covering most everything up. But the first sip reveals all: smoke, peaty density that is drying in it’s intensity.

I let it sit for a few minutes to see if anything changes. To its credit, the One Hitter doesn’t shift; sweet nose, smokey flavor. Unfortunately, though, the One Hitter become one note. If I had ordered half a glass of this, I think I’d be kinder to it but as it stands, I’m just not enamored.

It’s a rare Sunday night to be out but here I am. Spring has made its presence known for almost three days in a row and as much as I enjoy long dark nights, I have to confess the sunlight is a welcome addition right now.

I can feel it in the city, too: a certain restlessness. Not in a bad way, a “ah, the hell with all this” sort of thing. More like; the sun is there to shine a light on life so you can get more done. More of everything.

Via sheer muscle memory I have discovered that I can hit “Cmd-Tab” on my iPad keyboard to flip between apps.

This is a very little thing, but it makes me happy. For a couple reasons!

First, keyboard commands are easier to execute than whatever swiping command is there.

Second, it’s a new thing that I have discovered! I want to be engaged in new things. I want to be able to look at the old and know when to set it aside for later, know when to defend it, and know when it must be discarded.

Which isn’t easy. Being assured of something makes everyone feel more comfortable: assured of our friends or lovers or family. Assured of employment. Assured of identity. Assured of trustworthiness.

I don’t have an easy answer. I want to be OK with change-with the notion that change is just a redirection of energy from one thing to a different thing-but I am also very tribal in my defense of things that I care about, or that make me feel safe.

I’m not sure how to let that go. Because I have grown up with the notion that it is difficult to really fail-to really be left behind in this country. Maybe it would be OK to let some things go if I could fall and only take a bruise instead of a break.

However, the callousness of the current political leadership, towards fact, towards the future, towards women, towards the disenfranchised or maligned, these things have raised a regression in myself. ‘Lock everything down and keep strangers away!’ I can feel it and I’m struggling  against it.

So I am attempting to be more  generous of my time. Attempting to be more vulnerable to people around me. Ironically, by trying to be more willing to put myself in situations where failure is an option. It’s weird. It’s likely a luxury in itself.

Still, I’m not sure I have another choice, given the situation in front of me.

Today’s second pint goes to Planned Parenthood.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.