Whatever You Say #31

I’ve been taking tango lessons at the Viscount and it’s been playing havoc with my beer drinking schedule. Gotta have priorities, damnit and counting quick-quick slow quick-quick slow is not amongst them, usually. The things we do for love, no?

Of course, the bonus for finishing the class is a beer at the wonderful Burnside Brewing company. I excused myself for a moment and approached a darling lass at the bar with cat eye glasses and a pink dress who, amongst the patrons, didn’t seem to be involved with a book or classwork so I didn’t feel bad about interrupting her thoughts in order to ask her what she was drinking.

Alter Ego IPATurns out, it was Burnside’s newest seasonal, (so new it’s not even on their website at the time of this writing!) Alter Ego Imperial IPA.

It’s pretty damn tasty too. A bit smoother than the NW style IPAs or maybe better to say, more balanced and at 7.9%, not a hint of warmth to it. Really drinkable and thus a little dangerous, unless you’re a professional like me.

What I’m saying is, leave it alone so I can have more of the Alter Ego. Do it for me.

The rest of the evening is spent talking about the logistics of the tango.

Ladies, I’m going to tell you something-and I do so gingerly, because there’s probably nothing that I know that you don’t, but I’m going to do it anyway because the men in the Universe need help. I certainly did.

Most men don’t hate dancing. Lots of young men mosh it up, which is a form of dancing, even though it can leave you bruised. We hate looking like an ass and dancing makes us look like an ass because we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing. And most of us aren’t good looking or rich enough to cover up the fact that we don’t know what we’re doing.

So cut us some slack. Because dancing is hard and may I remind you: everything is on the guy. As the lead, if anything goes wrong, he is to blame.

Tell me, if I asked you to take on a task that make you look like a fool and if anything went wrong the blame was on you because you’re in charge-regardless of the mistakes of anyone else- does that sound like fun?

Exactly. So if you want us to dance, let us take some lessons so we can look bad in a class full of bad-looking fellows and get good enough to look at least competent in public.

And fellows; if she’s willing to go to lessons, ask for a beer afterwards. On her. Give yourself something to look forward to.

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